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happy valentines baby i love you so much.
I’ll always be there for you
Running to you at a moments notice no matter the situation big or small. You scared mr shitless today. I didn’t know what to think whilst driving like a maniac to see if ur alright. I’ll always be by your side Caroline. I’ll protect you in your real times of needs. Despite all the drama. I guess I’m only really good at looking out for your future and I’ll continue to do so in my own stupid ways
there’s one thing i know for sure
and it has to do with friends. @caroline ur a smart girl. ur a brave girl. in your heart u have a burning hope and love for your friends. whom you trust to be with you through thick and thin. you have confidence in your friendship with them and it’s inspiring. if only i was half the person you are, in the sense that u have faith in undying friendships then i’d probably be a better person. Unfortunately for me i never had such experiences to believe that such friends exist. my stigma towards friends go as far as acquaintences. you know me well and u know im very open and friendly to start but u also know it’s hard for me to trust people and to befriend people easily. You know i keep my distance after the first hello or convo. I guess u could say that’s probably why i picked the fight with you today. from my defensive point of view i can’t seem to understand the connection you have with ur friends. and i don’t think after a year i could’ve ever hoped to understand it. because for me it was always easy to just forget someone, since the general group of people i was surrounded by back then were less then ideal as friends…i really wish i could’ve had friends like u have. who care and love you as much as i do if not more but in their own ways. ur a very special girl. and im lucky to be with u and i thank you for tolerating my idiotic notions and actions. it’s gonna take me awhile to truely believe in your friends and the bonds u guys share. because no matter what ill be doubtful. but as it stands i love u and i trust ur judgement, so i hope to fully understand ur friendships one day. your friends care about u alot. im sorry for starting all that shit with u. i love you caroline.
do you
even think about what your saying right now? seriously? im the one trippin? or are you? i picked up the phone didn’t i? i was trying to talk to you wasn’t i? i told you what happened and how i felt. and u just hang up. Is that all i mean to you now? instead of caring and talking it out u defend yourself and hang up and tell me off like that? i thought there was more to us…
yeah and instead
of giving you the big fuck you i chased your ass in the rain cuz i worried. the least u can do is try to talk to me about it yet you just hang up. good shit honey.
you know what
hurts?, when u backtrack on your gf’s tumblr in archive in hopes of reading up on our relationship and reminiscing about it, and seeing a picture of her an her ex kissing in the backseat of a guys car. i know it’s in the past but i gotta say it got me to read into the rest of her tumblr, and idk how to feel about it. it’s just got me down for some reason, a lot of things are soooo consistant with our relationship now that it hurts, im “baby”,”boothang”.
everytime i hear this song it reminds me of you. as if i don’t think of you enough. i hear this song and it makes me focus on you for no apparent reason. i love you caroline and i always will. You’ve proved to me that my descision to be with you was right. you lived up to my expectations and even surpassed it. at the point we re-met, you were recovering from a low point in life. And i could see the potential you had inside of you to be a great person who would grow and find herself living successfully in the real world. your amazing. and i love you! i don’t mind moving to the edges of the world with you but as of right now how i feel is that before i run off with you i have to pay a debt to my gracious family first. also i have two younger brothers whom i wish to see grow up, and wish to keep in touch with them, An older brother whom im waiting for as well. For me my experience in southern OC wasn’t as un-fulfilling as yours probably was. My whole family is here. And im in love with them too much to leave them just yet. But in about a year or two from now. ill be ready to finally move on with you
I did it again
Didn’t I boo. I pushed my anger on u when I didn’t meant to today was really upsetting for me to begin with. The car isn’t happening and it’s frustrating because I wanna take u out and u know get my life back on track but my uncle isn’t selling it to me anymore cuz he wants to save it just in the case that my other uncle snaps out of his mental illness and can drive again so you could say Im a little aggravated right now. I really had my hopes up. Anyways boo Im really sorry for not being there for u. I’ve been really distracted. I had disappointing news and then my dad was rude. Which pissed me off more. And while I was mad I felt interrogated by you… And I flipped out. I’m sry boo. U really caught me at a bad time
Hey em my phone died
I thought this would be the perfect way to let you know since you check tumbler more than Skype I love you boo
No you
Can’t give up. i won’t let u. ur my girlfriend and truly meant everything i’ve said to u. you mean a shit load to me. and ill do whatever it takes to keep u sane. i’ve complicated your life. but i guess its cuz ur family is two faced unlike anything i’ve ever been with. yet my house is warm and comforting. i love you so much. i want u to always be by myside
to tell
you the truth… im so in love with u that i can’t picture myself without u in the morning. or knowing ur there for me to fall asleep too. ive commited myself to u to the point that i can’t imaging not being with u. it hurts to hear u say that u’d leave me under the right circumstances. even under the right circumstances i don’t think i could leave u. u broke down a wall back then. well i just put another one up. but this time it’s around our relationship. and i never want to let this wall fall…i love u caroline lam
long ago
i really hurt someone i loved by my actions. i fucked up. i thought of myself and it hurt them. and now to think that i repeated it years later. makes me even more frustrated. arent i supposed to learn from my mistakes? wtf is my problem? i love this girl unconditionally. yet i fucked up today. ur my everything like seriously. u know me. i used to be reserved. i would hold myself back. and now that i’ve accepted our love i mistreated it. im so sorry. please stay by my side despite these hard times.
i am
weak… i withdraw when i feel like im vulnerable, and i take it out on others around me. even the ones i love. im sry about everything em. our lives together will be amazing if u can bear this flaw of mine. i mistreated u today. first and last time. sry for this little bump in your fairytale. but lets continue this journey and find our happy ending ok?
